Eternal Marriage

There is nothing more beautiful than a blushing bride on her wedding day.  The thoughts of “Happily Ever After” drift around her as she smiles for pictures and gets lost in her new husband’s eyes. 

The congratulations are heartfelt and the joy of a new beginning together has begun.

This is a picture most of us imagine when we think of the beautiful event of a wedding, but I am here to tell you of something even more beautiful …… living with one another for eternity, not just until death do you part. 

How is it possible, what does it mean, and who can gain this eternal reward?  I am going to share one of the most amazing blessings in my life and the teachings and beliefs of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

One of our Latter Day Prophets, President Ezra Taft Benson, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints shared that, “The temple is a sacred place, and the ordinances in the temple are of a sacred character. Because of its sacredness we are sometimes reluctant to say anything about the temple to our children and grandchildren.”  Today I want to move past that reluctancy to share why it is so important to be sealed for eternity in a Holy Temple.

We believe that the Priesthood has been restored to this earth.  Through it, we can make sacred covenants with our Father in Heaven in his house, the Temple.  It is in the temple that we receive covenants that bind and seal us for eternity.  President Benson further explained, “Then, on 3 April 1836, the Lord Jesus Christ and three other heavenly beings appeared in this holy temple. One of these heavenly messengers was Elijah, to whom the Lord said he had “committed the keys of the power of turning the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers, that the whole earth may not be smitten with a curse.” (D&C 27:9.) Elijah brought the keys of sealing powers—that power which seals a man to a woman and seals their posterity to them endlessly, that which seals their forefathers to them all the way back to Adam. This is the power and order that Elijah revealed—that same order of priesthood which God gave to Adam and to all the ancient patriarchs which followed after him. And this is why the Lord said to the Prophet Joseph Smith, “For verily I say unto you, the keys of the dispensation, which ye have received, have come down from the fathers, and last of all, being sent down from heaven unto you.” (D&C 112:32.)”

Bruce C. Hafen, a member of the Seventy in our church’s leadership, gave a beautiful explanation on the difference between a contract marriage and a covenant marriage.  He said that even if we are sealed in the temple of the Lord, we still need to live our covenants for them to be fulfilled.  We should watch out for the wolves that would rob us of the joy a covenant marriage can bring.   “When troubles come, the parties to a contractual marriage seek happiness by walking away. They marry to obtain benefits and will stay only as long as they’re receiving what they bargained for. But when troubles come to a covenant marriage, the husband and wife work them through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by covenants to each other, to the community, and to God. Contract companions each give 50 percent; covenant companions each give 100 percent.” 

We need to be living a covenant life and a covenant marriage in order to make it back to our Father in Heaven and be sealed to our loved ones for time and all eternity.  This is a promise and a blessing for those who fight for the beautiful gift of marriage.  

I was born into a family that had been sealed for time and all eternity.  I married my husband of 28 years in the Manti temple, one of over one hundred Holy Temples for our religion around the world, located in beautiful Utah, to be sealed for time and all eternity.  I have two of my sons that have been sealed to their wives.  I know that if I live up to the sacred covenants I made with my Father in Heaven, and live a covenant marriage, I can experience the blessings of eternal life with my loved ones. 

Between a Man and Woman

“God is the Father of all men and women. They are His children. It was He who ordained marriage as the union of a man and a woman. Marriage was not created by human judges or legislators. It was not created by think tanks or by popular vote or by oft-quoted bloggers or by pundits. It was not created by lobbyists. Marriage was created by God!” 

                                                    President Russell M. Nelson

                                                          The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

There are so many battles going on today abut marriage.  What constitutes marriage?  Who can legally be married?  Why is marriage important?  How can we save marriages?  Throughout history many of these same questions have been asked, and marriage has been seen as a powerful unity.  In ancient times parents actually arranged the marriage of their children.  It was important for them to make sure their family was making a good alliance with another family.  Around 1639 marriage licenses began being required by some states to prove that someone was married. 

Marriage is important.  It is beautiful and it is sacred.  The evolution of marriage has taken on many different looks and legalization, but none have been so heated as recent hearings and decision in Supreme Court about the legalization of same-sex marriage.  The prophet of my church, President Russel M. Nelson, has asked us to stand up and speak out.  Today I would like to do just that.  

This week we studied threats to marriage.  I read the case Obergefell v. Hodges (6/26/2015) The case was presented to argue that same-sex marriage, as well as the recognition of such marriage from another state, illegal and unconstitutional.  Some of what I found to be the most interesting parts were the statements by the dissenting judges after the ruling was made.  These men did not just state, "I don't agree".  They gave page after page defending, not only marriage, but democracy in America. 

I want to focus on what I feel they got right.  The following excerpt from the history of marriage was first shared with the judges and court at the ruling of the case. 

"The lifelong union of a man and a woman always has promised nobility and dignity to all persons, without regard to their station in life. Marriage is sacred to those who live by their religions and offers unique fulfillment to those who find meaning in the secular realm. Its dynamic allows two people to find a life that could not be found alone, for a marriage becomes greater than just the two persons. Rising from the most basic human needs, marriage is essential to our most profound hopes and aspirations." (Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015)

After the ruling was made 5-4 to legalize same-sex marriage (can you believe it was by ONE vote), the four dissenting judges gave statements on why they disagreed with the ruling.  Andrew T. Walker and Russell Moore summarized the statements in an article titled, 10 questions about marriage from the Supreme Court arguments, on The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission’s website (April 29, 2015).  They summarize the following points. 

1. Chief Justice Roberts asked whether expanding marriage to include gay couples would lead to marriage’s redefinition.

2. Justice Kennedy expressed concern about whether it was prudent for the Supreme Court to step in and change the definition of an institution that was as old, to use his language as “millennia.” In short, he asked whether it was imprudent and unwise to suggest that the Supreme Court knows better than ancient history and its belief about marriage.

3. Justice Alito expressed skepticism at the idea that traditional or biblical marriage “demeans” gay people. He asked the lawyer in support of same-sex marriage whether that was a “primary purpose.”  

4. Along this same line of questioning, Justice Alito observed that while ancient cultures like Greece embraced homosexuality, they still held marriage as distinct. He asked, “So their limiting marriage to couples of the opposite sex was not based on prejudice against gay people, was it?”

5. Justice Breyer hinted at perhaps the most important aspect of this particular case: Letting the states decide. He suggested that this debate is working itself out in the states, asking why not “wait and see whether in fact doing so in other states is or is not harmful to marriage?”

6. Because marriage policy should always be based on sound principle, Justice Alito questioned whether redefining marriage to include same-sex couples would allow polygamous couples to marry. He asked: “What would be the logic of denying them the same right?”

7. Referencing Bob Jones University’s wrong and sinful banning of interracial dating, Alito asked whether redefining marriage would eventually pose risks (such as the loss of tax-exempt status) to the religious liberty of religious institutions.

8. Several of the Court’s more liberal justices pressed what the actual harms are of same-sex marriage. They seemed insistent that redefining marriage to include same-sex couples will not result in tangible harms to society. In short, they thought the state lacked sufficient purpose to deny same-sex couples the right to marry. Along the same lines, they argued that there are “dignitary harms” of denying children the opportunity to grow up in a married same-sex household.

9. Justice Sotomayor stated that marriage is a right embedded in the Constitution. Her question was how to continue exercising that right and finding a just cause for excluding some groups from marrying and not others.

10. Justice Ginsberg questioned the attorney defending traditional marriage by asking whether a procreative definition of marriage required prohibiting 70-year olds from marrying (on the biological assumption that elderly individuals cannot and will not procreate).

I found it interesting that the second to the last paragraph in the court’s decision stated, “Finally, it must be emphasized that religions, and those who adhere to religious doctrines, may continue to advocate with utmost, sincere conviction that, by divine precepts, same-sex marriage should not be condoned." Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015)  It is almost as if they are stating that they know God's law is ever binding, and they don't want to be held accountable to him for their decision .... sound familiar?  Think of Pontius Pilate.

As stated in the opening quote by the Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, President Nelson, marriage was created by God. I know that there are so many people to love and Those who have same-sex relationships are part of those we should love, but marriage is ordained of God between a man and a woman and I know part of this is to help us reach eternal glory and become creators of our own worlds.  

"Why should we care?"

In The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012 the question is asked “Why should we care?”  This is an interesting question to bring up in today’s society.  Many people think that marriage is a private arrangement, meant to join two people in a union.  So how is the State of our Union affected, and why should our government care? 

In studying the effects of marriage and divorce this week, I was very interested to read that the government has been involved in many projects to strengthen marriages throughout my lifetime.  Another student in my class shared that she had studied over 50 Bills centered around marriage.  The following are a few of the projects that I read about:

-2001 Bush administration declared that strengthening marriage would be one on nine priorities of the Administration for Children and Families in the Department of Health and Human Services.

-2005 the Deficit Reduction Act set up the Healthy Marriage and Responsible Fatherhood Act (5 year grant) Then in-  2011 renewed for 3 more years

-2012 The State of Our Unions; The National Marriage Project which monitors the current health of marriage and family life in America. Produced annually, it is a joint publication of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values.

In all of these projects, the government has seen the effects of failing marriages and the impact they have on the disappearance of the middle class, the disadvantages of single parent homes and the stability of families. 

 In Why Marriage Matters: Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences we read:

 “Children are less likely to thrive in cohabiting households, compared to intact, married families. On many social, educational, and psychological outcomes, children in cohabiting households do significantly worse than children in intact, married families, and about as poorly as children living in single-parent families. And when it comes to abuse, recent federal data indicate that children in cohabiting households are markedly more likely 9 to be physically, sexually, and emotionally abused than children in both intact, married families and single-parent families.”

With the state of our Union in need of stable, hard-working families that won’t tax the government, it is no wonder they want to provide programs that will strengthen the marriages in our Nation.

The government isn't the only ones fighting for the institution of marriage to remain strong.  Many religions place emphasis on lasting marriages.  They also see the benefits of strong families to keep communities full of faith and good values.  

In my religion, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, marriage is essential to eternal progression.  Our prophets have testified of this over and over.  In 1995 the First Presidency of our church issued The Family: A Proclamation to the World.  In this document it emphasizes the importance of marriage, families and our Eternal identity. 

THE FAMILY

A PROCLAMATION TO THE WORLD

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

WE, THE FIRST PRESIDENCY and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.

THE FIRST COMMANDMENT that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

WE DECLARE the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.

HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

THE FAMILY is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.

WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.

WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.

This proclamation was read by President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

One of our Prophets, President Spencer W. Kimball, said; “Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” (Families Can Be Eternal, Nov. 1980, 4)

What a powerful statement, that only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families...  

We must believe in what a family stands for.  It should not be on a whim that we create these powerful institutions.  

And a current Apostle in our church stated, "In contrast, modern prophets have warned that looking upon marriage “as a mere contract that may be entered into at pleasure … and severed at the first difficulty … is an evil meriting severe condemnation,” especially where children are made to suffer."   Elder Oaks

I believe that Marriage is ordained of God.  Through marriage we learn to work through communication, financial decisions, selflessness, teamwork, and JOY.  There are so many great things to recieve from this union.  I think that we should teach our nation that we must "believe deeply and actively in the family" so that we can strengthen our nation and the foundation that will continue to build it up.

Where I learned my strength!!! My mom pictured in the center with seven girls...just missing is my only brother.  I love these women and the value they give to their families.