Friday, February 21, 2020

Building a strong Marriage, one brick at a time


great wall.jpg

The power of small and simple things is an amazing phenomenon when one really takes time to consider their effects.  I recently saw this quote on a picture of The Great Wall of China.  What an amazing wonder that wall is.  Who could have imagined the breadth of it’s magnitude when it was first begun?  Our own lives are like a brick wall.  When we use small acts of kindness towards anyone, especially our loved ones, the outcome and magnitude can be far grander than we ever imagined.  The same could be said of negative sentiments, but who would seek to begin such a wall of negativity if they could see even half way where it would lead.  A wall of positive sentiments can build strong marriages and families, brick by brick.
This week I have studied a couple of chapters in Gottman’s book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” on turning toward our loved ones, instead of away from them.  Gottman teaches that the basics of this idea are that each of us sends bids for connection, or support.  When we receive a “bid” from our spouse, we can respond by simply being aware, says Gottman (p.89).  “Turning toward operates under a law of positive feedback”, he continues.  We can build trust and connect with one another in tiny ways that reach far beyond what it seems a small act or response could…..just like placing one brick on the wall. 
A beautiful scripture from my churches modern day scriptures, the Doctrine and Covenants, was also shared with us this week  D&C 64:33 "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great." What a great promise to continue to lay the foundation to a great marriage by the small and simple things, turning towards, prioritizing our spouse, sharing an inside joke, or simply reaching out to hold a hand.  These small acts can build a wall that is strong and protecting from the weather and storms life can bring. 

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