Strengthening our Marriage

For many of us that have committed ourselves to another through the sacred vows of marriage, hopefully we did so with an understanding that, just as we are not perfect, neither is the companion we are committing to.  Marriage is a most beautiful unity that binds a husband and wife to love and cherish, learn and grow together.  Some have a steeper learning curve than others, some never find that desire to blend, but I know from my own experience that although marriage takes a lot of patience, love and work, every day with my husband is a blessing to my life.

I strive every day to live worthy of the love my husband gives me.  I strive to live a covenant marriage and honor my vows with a commitment to enjoy every blissful moment, and grow through every challenging one.  It helps that my husband and I are best friends and lovers.  We enjoy the time we spend together, and look forward to the times we can escape everyday life to recommit to one another.  This doesn’t mean that we always agree, or never have hard conversations, but it does mean that we have a mutual respect that enables us to work WITH one another to overcome any challenge that is presented.

The most important love is a Christlike love, and if we have this love in our marriage, we can work through anything.  Joseph B. Wirthlin, an apostle and leader in my faith, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, once said, “There is no pain it cannot soften, no bitterness it cannot remove, no hatred it cannot alter.  The Greek playwright Sophocles wrote: ‘One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is Love.’  The most cherished and sacred moments of our lives are those filled with the spirit of love.  The greater the measure of our love, the greater is our joy.  In the end, the development of such love is the true measure of success in life.” (October, 2007 General Conference)

In a marriage class I am taking we began studying the book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman.  In the readings we see how a marriage that is based on friendship can help the positive override the negative sentiments in our relationships.  This doesn’t mean that with friendship our marriage will be perfect, but it will help us develop that Christlike love that will help lift us through the times when things get tense or hard.

There are many classes and books we can read on how to make our marriages work and be successful.  I believe that with effort and long suffering, we can learn to work through difficult times in such a way that can help our marriage grow if handled right.  I also believe that some of the best books are the scriptures.  When we apply the teachings from the scriptures into our lives and marriages, we can find peace and love that man alone may struggle to develop.