Consecrating ourselves to our Marriage

Anyone that has been married, or even in a serious relationship, can probably testify that working together and managing conflict is a very important part of liking one another, which only enhances your love for one another.  We cannot go through life agreeing with everyone or everything.  This especially applies to someone we live with 24/7.  There are bound to be conflicts, small and seemingly of little importance when looked back upon, and others that can be big enough to cause major conflict and issues that we need to work through. 

This week’s lesson in my Marriage class was about managing conflict and consecrating ourselves to our marriage.  In Goddard’s pamphlet, Drawing Yourself into your Marriage, he quotes Kent Brooks of the BYU faculty in observing, "Our capacity to love a spouse deeply and our ability to experience great joy in marriage are commensurate with the degree to which we are willing to suffer and hurt, to labor and toil, and to persevere through moments of unhappiness, stress, disappointment, and tests of our patience and love for our partners." (p.106). We have to be willing to go through the tough times and conversations to grow together and become unified.  It is through these times that we have to draw on the Lord to help us remember the “why’s” of choosing our spouse and the desire to continue to strengthen our partnership.  John Gottman shared his belief that compromise is the only way to solve marital problems in his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.  He makes the point that is doesn’t seem right that either partner always gets their way, if they have a loving intimate relationship.  He shares steps that enable a compromise to happen in a healthy way. 

If we want to understand consecration, or the solemn dedication to a special purpose or service, in marriage, we must understand how dedicating ourselves to this sacred union and person can be valued.  Goddard states,  

“Consecration has everything to do with marriage. It is much more than "staying together for the kids." It is acting to redeem our partners and our covenants with everything we have and everything we may draw from Heaven. We do all of this in order to establish Zion in our homes.” (p105)

We must desire home as a heaven on earth, a place of peace and unity in purpose.  Through this desire of unity and consecration, we can invite the spirit to guide us in compromise and managing conflict. 

A few weeks ago I shared a picture and quote of a marriage being built one brick at a time.  While reading Goddard’s pamphlet this week I came across this quote that reiderates that thought. “But those who consecrate themselves to their marriage by bringing their whole souls as an offering to the everyday events of a relationship are building a storehouse of sweet memories. They are building an eternal relationship one brick at a time.” (p 109)

I am grateful for the times that my husband and I have been able to work through conflict in a productive, healthy way.  It has strengthened our marriage and commitment to one another to be one.